Discover the art of influencing people, as discussed by Public Speaker and Author, Sam Cawthorn.
I believe that the most influential people and the people that know how to persuade others aren’t the people that have got the gift of the gab. They’re not the people that actually talk lots and lots and lots.
THEY’RE THE PEOPLE THAT LISTEN REALLY WELL.
When you listen really, really well, you can actually find out exactly what other people want and need. And when you find out what other people want and need, you then have leverage.
What I mean by that is if you know what other people want and need, you can actually now try and see how you can serve that, which means that you have leverage. When you have leverage, then you have value. Then people are now interested in what you have to say because you’ve listened to them really well.
NUMBER TWO, LISTEN, LISTEN THEN SPEAK LOUD AND CLEARLY.
So after you listen and listen, then it’s your time to speak. However, when you speak, I want you to really showcase clearly that you have listened. When you’ve listened, now you actually can influence them and persuade them for them to either buy your product, buy your system, or for them to actually be in a relationship with you for those people out there that are looking for people who want to be in a better relationship. But it is all about listening and listening really intently.
And sometimes we have to listen so much that we need to be able to hear or catch what is unsaid. The more that we can listen and catch the sub-modalities of what is unsaid, the self-consciousness of it all, then we can actually really start influencing. So, the second one is listen, listen. Then speak loudly and clearly.
THE THIRD ONE IS THIS: DRESS THE PART AND ROLL YOUR SHOULDERS BACK.
I just rolled my shoulders back while I said it. But it is very true and there’s actually two reasons for this. The first one is this, is that when you dress well, when you dress really, really sharp, there’s something in your psychology that actually says, “Wow, I can actually be more confident.” It does. In all reality, when we love what we wear, when we dress absolutely perfectly and there is something in our psychology that says I can now be more confident. I can now be more assertive.
In all reality, confidence and certainty actually comes from a sense of emotion. Now, emotion is inspired by motion. Which means our physiology. So, when we stand up straight and roll our shoulders back, and actually allow that power all the way through the back of our spine, suddenly we actually feel. We can feel it inside that we are more confident and certain. When we are more confident and when we are more certain, we can tend to influence and persuade people a lot easier.
So, again, emotion is inspired by motion. Which means our physiology. So, if you want a greater state of mind, if you actually want to speak with confidence and certainty to influence and persuade others, we actually need to dress the part and we also need to roll our shoulders back so we can actually feel it first. So again, the third one is dress the part and roll the shoulders back.
THE FOURTH AREA IN ORDER FOR YOU TO INFLUENCE AND PERSUADE – MAKE SURE YOU WRITE THIS DOWN – IS BE OPINIONATED.
The reason why I say this is because nowadays, there’s so much garbage out there on the marketplace. Everyone’s saying one thing and another thing and so on and so forth. And a lot of the time to be quite honest, a lot of it are fluffy talk. And what I mean by fluffy talk is we’ve heard it all before. There are people that are actually just playing it too safe.
So, my encouragement to you is how can you be opinionated with your actual opinion? But again, just remember exactly what number two was. It’s listen, listen and speak clearly and loud. And so, after you’ve listened and listened, when you are speaking loud and clear, then you can be opinionated. You can actually then speak of what you really feel about it. What you really authentically feel about it. They’re the people that can influence and persuade others because they’re not saying what everyone else is saying. They’re actually being really opinionated to what they believe. This way, you’ll come across more as a leader.
AND THEN THE FIFTH THING HERE, THE FIVE SECRETS TO INFLUENCE AND PERSUADE IS THIS, LEAN IN AND BE COMFORTABLE WITH UNCOMFORT.
I’ll say that again. Lean in and be comfortable with uncomfort. Now, the reason why I say this one here is the fifth secret ingredient is when you lean in, people will also lean in as well.
When you lean in, you’re also showing a sense of I’m interested, a sense of authenticity, compassion. But when you lean in, you’re actually then showcasing that your entire body is ready. That I’m actually here and you’ve got a hundred percent of my attention that I’m leaning in.
Now, the next part of this is actually being comfortable with uncomfort. I actually feel that these most charismatic, the people that influence and persuade the most are actually comfortable with getting into other people’s spaces. Now, just hear me out here for a second. You know when you’re at networking functions or actually when you’re meeting someone, and you shake their hand or whatever it might be. And then you see those people that actually lean in a little bit closer and in a way they’re in your space, right? They’re actually in your space. My encouragement to you is how can you be that person?
Now, the reason why I say this is because when people show that level of confidence and certainty, they can actually tend to listen really well. And if you do all this in actual order, people thing, “Wow, there is something about this person that has a sense of certainty.” Now, people follow certainty. We do. We all follow leaders that are certain about things. And when it does come to influence and persuasion, we need to make sure that there is a level of certainty about you. Whatever you’re selling, whatever product you’ve got, whatever services that you’re offering or whatever conversation that you’re having, when you’re leaning in and you’re actually starting to be really comfortable with uncomfort with someone that you just met and there is a level of certainty, then, you can influence and also you can persuade.
So, guys, I really hope that this video has actually really added value to your life. If you’ve got actually any comments or questions or anything at all like that, we’d love to hear from you. Why don’t you share this video. We’ve got a lot of other videos like this as well.
So, on behalf of the Speakers Institute, thank you so much for watching this video. I’m really looking forward to connecting with you again really soon.